Up and Down

I feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster lately. I just want to take Pnut somewhere and have them "fix" the problem. I know there is no such miracle cure for Autism, but it seems to be getting worse instead of better. When we got the diagnosis three years ago I thought I was dealing with it pretty well and ready to do everything possible to help my little man. The Psychologist gave us great hope that with the right intervention by the time he was 6 or 7 he would blend and most likely no one would ever know any difference. We went through the school, even ended up getting advice from a lawyer to get more services. We have never got everything we asked, not even close, but I was still hopeful. We continued outside therapy to assist with his progress. Three and a half years later, he is almost 7 and we have gone backwards. After meeting with the same Psychologist she confirmed he has regressed instead of progressing. It is so disheartening, but I knew this was the case which is why I scheduled the appointment. I have always felt, due in part to the response of others, that I make more of his issues than they really are. Not anymore, I now that it's not in my head there are real issues it just takes someone to stop judging and look at the whole picture. I just feel I sat idle too long and now we have a long road ahead of us to correct the issues. I fought off the medication for as long as I could and finally caved and began going through the motions with the Psychiatrist. I feel yet again I have failed him but I know he needs extra help to be able to slow down enough to let the behavioral therapies help him learn coping mechanisms. I go through these phases where I read an article and I try this or that but I really have not stuck with anything long enough to make any kind of difference. I really need someone to keep me on target, which is really not saying a lot for my perseverance. It's not that I don't want to help him, Lord knows I want to make things right for him. It is not about making it easier on me it is about getting him what he needs. I go through these pity phases and pretty much curl up in a ball. I can't let myself do that anymore! I really need to kick myself in the behind and keep kicking!! Consider this my kick!

Trying something New

Ok, Summer is a VERY TRYING time of year. I knew Pnut would have some issues adjusting from the school schedule to the less scheduled summer, but I really didn't think it would be like this. I am at a loss for ways to help him.

He has become obsessed with anything electronic. Comupters, gaming systems, calculators....you get the picture. I know everyone says their kids are addicted and obsessed with games, even typical kids. I know they are trying to make light of it and make it seem "normal". I just can not get them to understand the extent of his obsession. He can talk of nothing else. He wakes up asking to play a game, and all day long that is all he can talk about. If you tell him no he can't play a game he goes crazy, screaming, hitting and kicking. He just totally looses it, We make him earn game time at home, but when his time is up he looses it. Throwing anything in sight, including chairs, and comes out hitting and kicking. I have expressed concern with his therapists and they feel we are looking at OCD. We have an appointment with the psychiatrist, but it is two months away. I am not a big fan of medicating my child and have thus far stuck to behavioral therapies. We recently started delving into some vitamin suppliments. Omega 3 is supposed to help with behavior in children with ADD and ADHD, which most kids on the spectrum also have, so we started that. No change as of yet.

Our newest adventure will begin in a week and a half. We are meeting with a Chairopractor. I know what you are thinking, but we are exploring all options. A friend usese her and she reccomended we talk to her from a nutrition standpoint. I have talked with her and got a little better understanding of what she does. I am intrugued about the information she can gather from the hair analysis she does. If I can help him come back to the real world and eliminate his anger without chemicals I am going to explore it.

I am sure everyone I talk to is sick of hearing about Autism, behavior issues, suppliments and such. I am so sorry my mind has been on one track this summer. This is the worst I have seen him and it frankly scares the crap out of me. I feel like I am loosing my child. He is typically such a sweet loving child and I want him back!

Pretend play

This may seem a little silly, but I just had to post this video! I had to get the hubby to film it because he already saw me with the camera and started posing. What is the big deal? Well he is now pretend playing, all his speech in this video is spontaneous, and no dialogueing!!!! Huge step!! Over the last two weeks I have seen this really emerge and I am just busting at the seams with happiness. He finally knows what to do with his toys and that they are not just objects to throw or kick around.

School is here

Yea! School has finally started. Hubby are I were hoping the structure would settle Peanut down since he does so well with structure. So far, no such luck. His teacher said he is impulsive, she has trouble keeping him to task and he gets up and wanders. HMMM, those were the things we kept trying to get the school board last year to recognize and they said we were nuts and he didn't do any of those things. I commented to his teacher that they kept telling us last year that he had no such issues and she said maybe it was because 3K is a lot more relaxed and they geat more play time.

Good news though we have a new speech therapist and new case manager this year. They came before school started to the house and worked with him here so they get a sense of how he is outside of school.

I just hope that the ABA therapist is able to shed some light for us. This week has been HELL! Every day he comes home he is so wired and MEAN! We have two more weeks before she comes to observe him, I hope she goes to the school before then.

This may be a long year for us, I was so hoping for the best and that he would be able to be mainstream next year. The way things are right now I just don't see it happening. Why did they not listen??!!!

Snarky looks

I am so sick of the snarky looks I get when I am out with the boys. I feel like I have to defend myself and my children to everyone. I am always explainig that Peanut has a form of Autism and there are things he just doesn't understand. Well maybe understand is not the right word to use here. I think if he actually heard what was said he would understand, but when he sees something that catches his attention or if he is in his "dialogue zone" he is in his own world and I think he has no clue what is going on around him.

I do discipline the boys and I do not let them run wild. Hello do you not see me trying to get him to settle down! So lady at the vet that kept giving me dirty looks today piss off! I think my Vet said it best today when he made the comment that it must be really hard with the oldest having Autism and the youngest looking to him as a role model. Now it's not like this didn't run through my head a few hundred times, but I just keep trying to stay consistent with the discipline and hope that Sweet Pea will begin to catch on to what he should be doing.

I may just be oversensitive, but I always feel like people look at me like I am a nut case. I know there have been times when I saw an intereaction between parent and child (now you know this was pre children) and thought that they needed to get a grip on things.

Note to all, NEVER look at another parent and make a quick judgement on their parenting skill. You have absolutely no idea what their situation in life is or what they have been through prior to you coming into the picture.